Dragging Feet

Night time has now fallen on our third night, and second day, in Orlando. These past 36 hours have been a whirlwind, and I’m flat out exhausted.

Yesterday morning, Kara and I made a quick trip to SeaWorld where we got our picture taken with Shamu, checked out the non-rider queue at Manta, and got two consecutive rides on it. All-in-all, we spent about 25min in the park before heading back to our new home and meeting her dad there. It was a nice, relaxing trip before our maelstrom of unloading began.

As I mentioned before, we had a 22ft Penske truck loaded up with stuff, and we were moving into the 3rd floor of our building. Each trek would require us to travel 38 steps up, and 38 steps down. To call the process exhausting would be a gross understatement.

Our first day of moving in, we unloaded about 3/4 of the truck over the course of about 6hr. There was a nice, brisk breeze blowing through the complex, which created a very nice windtunnel effect and helped cool us down a bit. The transition of moving stuff out in cloudy, 20-degree weather and unloading in sunny, 75-degree weather was drastic. That breeze definitely helped keep us rather cool, however.

By the time we called it a night, we had our living room setup and ready to go, and the bedroom was fairly organized as well. We managed to clear out most of the boxes that were brought in so that made the apartment appear a lot clearer than I probably actually was. The night was concluded with watching the Florida basketball game, and a bowl of Fudge Ripple ice cream by all.

Today, we awoke around 10 and almost immediately began unloading the rest of the truck. Thanks to the amount of work we got taken care of on Thursday, the final unloading process today only took about 45min. Fortunately, we finished when we did, otherwise I wholly believe I would’ve collapsed from a heart attack if one more item had to be lugged up those stairs from Hell.

After (separate) showers, we all headed off to run errands and pick up a few things. The first stop was IKEA where we picked up a shower squiggie and bed risers. Personally, I preferred the bed lower to the ground but because of a lack of storage space, we needed the extra room underneath to store miscellaneous stuff.

We then headed to Home Depot and picked up two ceiling fan light kits, and a lamp bulb, then it was off for Round Two of Zaxby’s. I ended up getting my normal, go-to Plate, and Kara and her dad both enjoyed chicken caesar salads.

On returning to the apartment, they took a couple hours at the pool while I enjoyed some time with my neglected Xbox. We re-connected over Modern Warfare 2 and then I headed out to catch up with my friend Todd. Turkey sandwiches were had for dinner when I returned, and the rest of our night has been spent installing the lights, unpacking more, and now unwinding.

Its been a long, draining, exhausting, unrelenting, and exciting two days. Hopefully the car whose alarm seems to go off every 5min stops so we can get some sleep tonight, otherwise they’ll be getting a visit from the Polk County Sheriff’s Office tomorrow morning.

Back In Orlando!

Ahhhh, it feels amazing to be back in Florida!

I had planned on writing in this every night on the way down, but Tuesday night we didn’t arrive in Nashville until around 1:30am and had to be up again at 5:00am so I just crashed on the pull out bed.

Tuesday’s travel day was pretty exhausting. Unlike Monday, where time seemed to fly by, Tuesday seemed to drag on and on. I left Kara’s grandpa’s farm around 1:30pm after we unloaded some stuff she was storing there, and taking a brief tour of the place. It was really the first time I’ve ever been around an establishment like that, and the experience was eye opening and very cool. Her dad showed me around the different barns, the silo, where the cows where milked and where the chickens had been kept. The expansive fields were pointed out to me as well, as if I wouldve missed them otherwise.

With Kara needing to stick with her dad today, due to not knowing where we would be stopping, I hit the road before them so I’d have time to visit my cousin Brett in Louisville. As I already mentioned, the drive through Illinois, Indiana and finally into Kentucky was extremely uneventful, and even moreso…boring.

Crossing the bridge into Louisville, and subsequently Kentucky, right after dusk was an amazing view of the city. Unfortunately, there was nowhere to stop and pull over to get a nighttime panorama. After a brief wait, I followed Brett to his new house to say hi to his wife Jodi, take a tour (amazing house) and then we headed to BD’s. When he told me BD’s had just opened there (and in Orlando), I thought he was just pulling my leg, but no…My new favorite place really did just open down here, where previously it was just a Michigan/Minnesota thing.

After gorging ourselves and saying goodbye, I hit the road again, and managed to catch up to Kara and her dad about 30 miles outside of Nashville. My stop in Louisville lasted about 2.5hr so in that time, they managed to get about 20 miles ahead of me.

We found a Country Inn and Suites just south of the city around 1am and crashed there for the night.

Unfortunately, we saved the longest drive for last.

I was already exhausted before getting to Nashville, not being able to sleep much the previous couple of nights, and then only getting 2.5hr of sleep Tuesday night didn’t help matters. We woke up around 5:30 and were back on the road at 6:30am for the final stretch towards Florida.

For the most part, Kara and I stayed with each other on this drive. Her dad slept in and hit the road long after we did, however, we had to get to our new complex by 7pm to get our keys so there was no time to waste.

I always love driving through the mountains in Tennessee and Georgia between Nashville and just outside of Atlanta; the views are breath-taking, and the roads are extremely fun to traverse. I also love going through Atlanta; I enjoy the fast pace and the NASCAR feel of what is the “Atlanta Vacuum.”.

Once we got just outside of Valdosta, I spotted us a Zaxby’s for lunch. She had never eaten there before, but I’ve been its #1 fan for years. I stuck with the tried and true Plate (with extra toast and sauce) and she had her adventure with the Caesar Chicken Zalad. Thankfully, she loved it, and stuffed, we marched on to the home stretch.

Getting into Florida was an amazing feeling, and I’m not afraid to admit that I got kinda choked up when crossing the state line. I enjoyed my time in Minnesota, being able to live somewhere else for a little while, but Florida is where I belong.

We stopped at the state line and got pictures with the Welcome to Florida sign, and then proceeded to the Welcome Center where Kara got a sample of Real Florida Orange Juice. While there, I located a “Living With Alligators” brochure for her, as well. We were finally on the home stretch.

6:45pm rolled around, and we pulled into our new complex. It was after hours, but our leasing agent, who lives on site, provided Kara with her cell number to give her a call when we arrived. We were greeted with a closed gate, but open exit gate, so I decided to drive through that way so we could wait inside for her.

Immediately after pulling in, a Polk County Sheriff’s Officer whipped his car around a corner and cut me off dead in my tracks. It was like a scene out of cops. He flashed his lights at me and sat in front of my car, with about 5 feet of distance between us. Slowly, I got out, as did he, and I struck up a conversation with him.

Turns out he’s the Courtesy Officer, and entering through the exit is a big no-no here. I spent a good ten minutes talking to him, really nice guy, and eventually he let us park by the office after the situation was explained. Ten minutes later, our lease girl arrived and we met her outside of our new building.

She brought us in, gave us our keys and access cards, gave us a little tour, and explained how everything worked. After leaving, Kara and I brought everything we had in our cars up, and let the cat (Maggie) out of the bag to explore her new surroundings. So far, Maggie isn’t adapting too well, but Kara is certain she’ll be okay eventually.

As for the new place, its amazing. Everything is new. We’re actually the first people to live in this unit, which is always nice.

After relaxing a bit, we ordered a free, welcome to the ne neighborhood pizza from Papa Johns, and picked up across the street after gathering a few things from Publix. Once the air mattress was inflated, it was time to snooze, and snooze we did.

Its not 9:30, I’ve been up for half an hour. What does that mean?

That means I got 11.5hr of sleep last night. And man, it felt amazing. I’m gonna go wake Kara up with breakfast croissants and then hopefully we’ll be able to go ride Manta at SeaWorld a couple times before her dad gets here and the unloading process begins.

It feels great to be back.

Like A Chicken With It’s Head Cut Off

Today was the last full day I had to get everything taken care of that I needed to get taken care of. Below is a list of what I needed to accomplish:

Change my address

Get an oil change

Get my tires rotated

Get a haircut

Finish packing

Help clean up the apartment

Photog Kara’s last day at work (and all the rides in the snow)

Surprisingly…I accomplished everything.

It was stressful, however, to say the least. On top of everything listed above, I took a bit of time out of my day to surprise Kara with lunch at her work. I thought it was a nice gesture, and she seemed to appreciate it. Everything else that I had planned ended up working out great.

Discount Tire, where I go for everything tire-related, had a zero minute wait to start the day. It was truly incredible. For all of the years I’ve been taking my car(s) to them for service, I’ve never seen the place deserted like it was today; I was in and out in less than twenty minutes. Leaving from there I headed to Best Buy to recycle an old TV of Kara’s and then it was off to Goodyear to get my oil changed.

While there, they tried to poach me of $15 to replace a light bulb…Uhhh, no thanks!

After thirty minutes there, I headed to my haircut place, but was greeted with a 30 minute wait. I opted to then head to Valleyfair and bring Kara a chicken caesar salad to brighten up her last day employed with the same company she’s been with for the past seven years. We ended our food together and then I headed back to get my hurr did, headed home to get a shower and then took off again to get my change of address taken care of.

Once that was done (and stunningly, they informed me it would take place tomorrow…score!) I made my way back to Valleyfair and we took a 45-minute lap around the park, getting photos of all of the rides draped in snow. Most of the pictures came out very good, and I’m glad we took that last opportunity to do that.

The rest of my day was spent hunting down a Mobil station, almost running out of gas (literally…check my Twitter upload) and making it back home to unload the huge boxes from my car, rearrange the boxes already occupying the apartment, and prepare for Kara’s arrival. Once she got home, we had three solid hours of packing, cleaning and rearranging.

And it truly is amazing what two people working together can get accomplished.

Now it’s 11pm on Friday night, and I work my last shift ever in Minnesota tomorrow from 8:45am to 5:00pm. Kara is on her way to the airport to scoop up her dad who is helping us with all the finishing touches, loading of the Penske truck, and the trip down to Florida. I even had time to get a couple games in on Modern Warfare 2 with my boy B-40.

For as hectic as the day was (and it could’ve been half as much if I wasn’t such a procrastinator) it sure did turn out well.

The next time I get to scribe, we’ll probably have already completed the first leg of the drive to Illinois. Here’s to a good weekend of packing, and a safe trip!

Make It Go Away

I really wish I could figure out what is wrong with me these days. Lately I’ve been having really strange “head pains” that I can’t seem to describe very well. Up until the last hour or so, the last two weeks have been filled with mostly “woozy, cloudy, pressure” in my head that makes me feel loopy and very much not-right.

Now, in the past hour, it feels like the onset of a migraine. And I don’t know which discomfort I prefer; if I had to choose one, that is.

This is a problem I’ve never had before, and being the pessimist I am, I can’t help but wonder the worst. My dad thinks it may be an after-effect from my recently-kicked Swine Flu, which would make sense considering it hadn’t started until not long after I was over that.

Maybe its just S.A.D., which I’ve come to learn about since living in the gloomy tundra of Minnesota; where you’re lucky if there’s one glimmer of sunshine every couple of weeks. Or maybe its a far more serious issue that I need to get checked out.

Either way, I just wish it would go on its own way and leave me alone.

Under the Weather

Ugh, why again?  Didn’t this just happen?

So, I’m feeling under the weather once again and really beginning to get sick of being sick.  This time around I feel like it’s being caused by the enormous stresses that I’ve been under lately, however.  Between still being unemployed, money issues and slight depression, it would not surprise me what-so-ever if stress was my biggest enemy right now.

On the other hand, I’m so incredibly lucky to have Kara in my life supporting me.  If her words and motivation weren’t there, I don’t want to even imagine the mindframe I’d be in these days.  I do have plenty to look forward to, though, and as long as I just make it through this week til Thursday, things will definitely start getting better.

Hopefully.

Snap(ped) Back to Reality

Orlando.

The City Beautiful.

Where I grew up.  Where I’ve wanted to be for ten years.

And now I’m back, as you might have read already.

But I’m starting to feel kinda empty here.  My first month of living my dream was amazing.  Park-hopping, club-hopping, meeting new people and constantly having fun.  There was never a dull moment, and I now fear that that first month sort of ruined my perception of life down here.  Now that the money is running (very) low, and I’m not doing as much as I was at first, times are relatively depressing.

I’m still visiting parks constantly, but there’s only so much of that one can do before it starts to become old hat.  Not working at the moment is starting to wear on me.  Cabin fever is starting to sink in.  I loved being able to go out every night and check out the nightlife at a bunch of different, new, exciting places; but now, with low funds and the inability to do so, that has obviously worn off a bit.

More-so than not being able to go have fun every night, is the simple fact that I’m just not doing anything.  Sure, I’ve been applying everywhere I can, honing my Photoshop skills, and having fun just hanging out with my roommate, but the stress of not having money is starting to wear on me.  Not being able to up and do something whenever I want to is beginning to sting.  As much as I love being here, it’s really painful to not be in the position to do what I want, when I want anymore.

I’m gonna ride out the storm.  There’s no way I’m giving up being here, it’s what I’ve wanted for so long.

I just wish something would happen, now.

Let’s Rewind A Bit

It’s been about a week since I’ve posted, and I wish I would have been more up on my Blogging, but it’s definitely time for a little Stevecap.

Thursday night I drove down to Orlando after my last day at the Department of Agriculture, and I spent the night at my grandparents’ house in Zellwood.  It was definitely nice to spend a couple of hours with them and catch up.  My grandma had surgery on her foot so she’s stuck in a wheelchair for awhile, but she was in her always positive self.  My grandpa has been taking great care of her, and that’s amazing to see in person.

Friday morning, I went into work to do a drug screen and my initiation into the profession.  My first impressions of the company were mixed.  I felt they had a great system set up, but I wasn’t really digging the whole 100% commission based income.  After talking to my dad about it, I calmed down a bit and realized if I just busted my ass, that everything would be fine.

I headed back to Tallahassee that afternoon and stopped at Chilis for about an hour for a Records reunion.  It was a lot of fun to see my old co-workers, catch up, make jokes and have a couple drinks.  Once I left, I went into overdrive to get ready for Kara’s arrival.  This is where things got a bit fishy.  Her plane was supposed to arrive in Tallahassee at 9:15pm, where I would pick her up from the airport, and we’d get ready to head out to Bullwinkles to meet up with a slew of friends for my going away party.

Well, weather didn’t want to cooperate, as storms in Atlanta delayed her flight just long enough to cause her to miss her connection.  In the end, she got placed onto the last flight of the night, via standby, and was set to arrive at 11:45PM.  The turnout for my going away was amazing, and I’m so thankful to have so many good friends, and  I’m so glad Kara finally made it in to meet everyone.

Saturday, her and I went out to my parents house for their first meeting and everything went awesome.  My parents loved Kara, and she said she felt the same about them.  Hopefully she’s not just blowing smoke up my ass.   That night I brought her to PoBoys for dinner and she got two meet a couple more of my good friends and we ended the night with Coldstone and cuddling.

So with the terrible weather in Atlanta, we altered our plans and headed to Orlando on Sunday and met up with Rob and Dan at Universal.  Spent a couple hours goofing off, staring at construction, riding Mummy and being pissed off at the Lost Continent and Dueling Dragons.

Monday was spent at SeaWorld, and it was a great, relaxing day.  We rode Kraken a few times, posed with a character.  I finally got my Shamu Express credit, and we had a nice, romantic Shamu strawberry bowl with the ducks.

So what happened next?  Extra Kara time!  Her plane got delayed AGAIN and that gave us an extra 12hr together.  To be honest, the whole thing at first was pretty tense.  Neither of us knew what to really do.  The following day was my first at work, and her new flight wasn’t until 5:15am.  After a bit of emotional discussion, we came to an agreement and ended up having a great night together, and one last couple of hours of cuddling.

Dropping her off at the airport was definitely emotional, and from the second she walked away I already felt a little lost.  It’s amazing how strong feelings can get for someone in such a short amount of time, and it’s so hard to only get a couple days with a person who means the world to you, only to go a month or more without seeing them again.

Tuesday at work was stressful.  From the get-go I just didn’t have the feeling for the job that it would be all that I was looking for.  The money was promised to be good, but aside from that, it wasn’t something that I could get excited about.  I was having serious doubts, but my friends managed to convince me it was just first day jitters.  They instilled hope in me and convinced me to stick with it, and I was determined to.

These past two days have been terrible.  I woke up Wednesday morning with a terribly sore throat, hot, runny nose, headache and very weak all over.  It only got worse as the day went on, and only now am I starting to feel a bit better.  I did get around to getting my address changed today, and I’m “moving into” Rob’s apartment tomorrow.  I quotisize that because all of my stuff is in Tallahassee still and I’m going to be sleeping on an air mattress for the first week, but it’s still gonna be fun.

So that’s my past week in a nutshell.  I’ve got a lot of deeper thoughts I need to get out and written down, but right now I just don’t feel like doing that.

Goodbye Desk

So I should be packing but I just wanted to procrastinate more than I already am.  Everything is so nuts right now, and it’s about to go into overdrive.

Tomorrow is my last day at work, and to me that effectively puts this whole moving thing into full steam ahead.  Everything is so bittersweet.

I don’t like the job, but I enjoy being there, if that makes any sense at all.  Since I started working there, I’ve been more in a kinda “keep to myself” mode, where as past jobs I was all about being the center of attention.  However, in the last couple months I’ve been getting to know a couple people better and establishing a couple of relationships and there are a couple of people I’m definitely gonna miss.

I’m also gonna miss my afternoon chats with my boss, who has always been open and helpful.  I’ll probably call her here and there to say hi and stay updated, she’s been instrumental on a couple of issues I’ve had and if nothing else I feel I owe her updates and such.

Every thing’s exciting and a bit nerve racking right now.  It always is starting a new job, especially doing something I’ve never done before.  I have faith that I’ll be able to attack it head on and succeed, but that doesn’t make things less anxious…

A Mess of Thoughts

I think I’ve hit a wall.  I don’t know if it’s because of the stress I’m under right now to move, or if it’s something else, but I’ve smacked face-first into a brick wall.

I’m in love, I’m not denying that one bit.  I feel more complete than I ever have, but this thing that I thought would be difficult but relatively easy to manage has turned into the complete opposite.  Moving to Orlando is extremely exciting for me, but it’s also now froze up opportunities I had this year to see  Kara.  All of these plans that we made to keep us close in between now and whenever it is we’re living together have essentially been placed on the back-burner.

My work schedule is requiring me Monday-Friday and every other Saturday with no flexibility.  That right there eliminates 50% of my plans, and possibly even up to as much as 80%.  What that means is that an already difficult situation to manage just got exponentially harder.  The good thing is for once in my life, the relationship is actually built on trust.

Maybe I’m subconsciously rehashing old insecurities.  Maybe it’s the Only Child Syndrome coming out in me again where I don’t feel like I’m being put ahead of everything else.  It’s selfish and it’s unfair, but it’s how my mind works.  We’ve got this opportunity to see each other that I don’t think is going to work out how we originally planned it to and there are other options.  But really, are there?

I’m kind of accusing her of being contradictory, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I’m going against all the support I’ve been showing.  In retrospect, I think I just gave the stance I had before a black eye.  And why? Because I’m being selfish.

I think a part of me is afraid that I’m going to lose feelings not seeing her for so long.  I mean, it’s been less than a month, after this coming weekend, it’s going to be at least 5 weeks before we see each other again.  And after that?  Who the hell knows.  I don’t, she doesn’t.  And I think that’s what scares me the most, is the fear that not being there, not having the physicality is going to drain me of my feelings.

I’m not scared because I’m expecting that to be the case, I’m scared because it’s a possibility.  The whole situation breeds many possibilities, but in my past experiences, I’ve come to expect the worst.  That doesn’t just change overnight.  Maybe being apart is the best thing for us, or at least for me.  Maybe it will finally teach me to not just settle but to move forward and make myself better.  To change my thought processes and how my mind has been engineered to think.

Right now I’m just frustrated and alone.  Over the past few years I’ve gotten so accustomed to always having someone with me all the time that now that I don’t, and now that I’ve gone “so long” without that physical presence constantly there, it’s wearing on me.  But that’s a part of being independent, is getting along with just yourself.  That’s something I need to learn, but it’s not something I want to accept.

I’m glad I have someone who has faith in me, but at the same time I’m afraid I won’t be able to change enough where it doesn’t absolutely drain the emotion out of both of us.  That’s what scares me the most.